Army Receives 15-Yard Penalty For Drone-Striking The Kicker

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EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—Throwing the flag during the annual Army-Navy game after the clearing smoke revealed an obvious illegal hit, Army’s football team received a 15-yard penalty Saturday for drone-striking the kicker. “I don’t know what Army was thinking there—you’re not allowed to drone-strike a defenseless player,” commented CBS play-by-play announcer Brad Nessler, saying that hitting Navy’s kicker with a missile during a field goal attempt and evaporating his body was an easy penalty call for the officials. “You can see that Army’s coach, Jeff Monken, is getting frustrated with his drone operator on the sideline, and it’s understandable. You’ve got to save those drone strikes for ball carriers, and keep the drone strikes to a minimum on special teams. That’s going to give Navy good field position going into the next drive, so we’re going to have to see Army ramp up their M16s on defense if they want to keep this game from getting out of hand early on.” At press time, the referee was standing in the smoldering crater where the kicker’s body once was to overturn the drone-striking penalty after ruling that the offensive line had false-started on the play.

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